Going through a divorce is incredibly stressful. The family will end up divided and you might end up losing your home. And if children are involved, things would be even more complicated than you would imagine. During a divorce:
- You will be faced with very intense emotions. They can make the entire process more difficult.
- You will make mistakes. Everyone does.
What is really important is to take a step back and take a deep breath. You want to do all that is possible for the divorce to go as smoothly as possible. This includes avoiding the bad mistakes presented below.
At the same time, remember that having a divorce attorney help you through the entire process is a very good idea. You need to distance yourself from all the drama and the lawyer can help you do that. Also, avoid the following mistakes.
Using Courts To Get Your Revenge
In a divorce, when someone believes the spouse should be blamed or the event comes as a complete surprise, it is quite common to see the natural reaction of wanting a divorce. This means several things would be done, like prolonging the case and fighting for assets without actually wanting them. Divorcing partners might use courts in numerous ways to exact some revenge.
Initially, you will feel some sort of satisfaction. However, in time, this approach will become quite problematic. It might lead to:
- Much higher divorce costs.
- Having a very negative effect on children.
- Complete lack of satisfaction of the outcome since courts cannot award you revenge.
Bad Mouthing Spouses To Children
When the spouse initiates the divorce, you can end up feeling hurt, frustrated, and angry. This is completely normal. However, this does not mean you should interact. You need to do all you can to avoid saying anything bad about the spouse when you discuss with children. This is something few people understand but it is incredibly important to avoid this divorce mistake.
Bad mouthing your spouse to children can easily:
- Hurt children without a need to do so.
- Hurt the rights you have in the potential custody battle that might appear. This is because the court sees the role of a parent as creating a healthy growth environment.
When you do want to rant or you simply want to vent the feelings you have about the soon-to-be former spouse or the divorce, talk with some other adults. Discuss such things only with those you actually trust. You can even consider sharing your feelings with a licensed therapist. Never let your anger come out in front of the children.
Lying In Court
Or hiding some marital assets. Both are very bad during a divorce. You might feel that the spouse screwed you over. You might feel that you will be taken advantage of in the divorce. No matter what you feel, make sure to avoid dishonesty during court proceedings. This includes when you deal with affidavits, court documents, and so on. Failure to disclose marital assets is very problematic, especially if you purposely try to hide them.
Lying in court or hiding your assets is a very serious mistake during a divorce because of several reasons, including:
- You might lose a lot more in the divorce.
- You might end up compromising settlements or agreements already made. Hiding assets and lying are considered to be legitimate grounds to file an appeal.
- You might end up facing fraud charges.
Avoid the huge mistake of trying to make the situation fair through lying or through hiding assets. It is the job of the courts to oversee divorce cases that are contested, not yours.
Making Decisions Based On Emotions
During the divorce, you will feel many bad feelings, like rage, despair, and frustration. It will be very difficult to see things in a rational, logical, and calm perspective. Actually, this could be impossible, especially when you have to deal with things linked to children, sentimental assets, or your home.
It is quite common to see people in divorces let emotions impact highly important case decisions. When your emotions are clouded, you might end up making mistakes like:
- Doing too much fighting for something you do not need or want.
- Prolonging the divorce without real necessity, which inevitably leads to higher emotional and financial costs.
Several times, you will feel intense emotions. This is when you need to take a step back so your perspective becomes logical again. Usually, the best way to deal with this is to have a divorce attorney in your corner. They will help you to deal with this very common divorce mistake.
Unrealistic Expectations About Financial Future
Your financial situation is going to change after the divorce. This is inevitable. You will most likely have to deal with lower income reaching the home and might even need to deal with new insurance costs. You might end up paying for some marital debt, pay child support, and so much more. If you are not ready for the financial changes ahead, you might end up with divorce problems like:
- Not requesting support payments that would be needed following the divorce.
- Forgetting about the marital debt obligations that will continue after the divorce, which can so easily lead to very serious debt.
- Not preparing plans to protect finances after the divorce.
In order to avoid these unrealistic expectations, you need to carefully analyze your current financial issues. This helps you to get ready for what will happen after the divorce and you will have highly realistic expectations.
Not Respecting Court Orders
This is possible after and during the divorce.
After the divorce is filed, the court will issue some orders in regards to custody, alimony, and others. You need to:
- Understand court orders and all the terms.
- Respect and comply orders.
You need to follow all court orders as the divorce is happening to:
- Retain the position you have and not lose ground.
- Avoid some very costly and unnecessary complications.
In so many cases, we see people receive court orders that do not seem fair. As a result, they just choose to ignore the orders. When you find yourself in such a situation, make sure you do not make this common divorce mistake. If you feel that an order is not fair and the judge should modify it, talk to the attorney and see what legal options are available for you. At the end of the day, you do not want to be in contempt of the court because you do not comply with an order.