Most parents want to be calm but this is not at all easy to do. So many days are filled with chaos and seem they never end, with a lot of mess around the entire home. No matter what we might think, the truth is every single parent out there needs at least a little bit of help to become calmer around their children.
The secret to becoming a calmer parent is easier than you might think. You need to understand a very important thing:
“Kids do not understand social rules like adults!”
A parent understands how to cope with different emotions. With children, they have to be guided. But, this guidance needs to be proper.
As the child reaches toddler years, parents start to struggle with their sanity. Then, children reach teenage years and things get wilder than you ever expected. For many, it simply seems impossible to remain calm when surrounded by temper tantrums and having to deal with control issues.
Fortunately, you can easily become calmer with some very simple tips. In fact, simple tips are always going to be the best ones to listen since they are the most effective. Just like those presented below.
The Trick To Becoming Calmer – Preparation
One of the biggest problems for parents is the lack of sleep. When you are tired, it is much easier to get triggered even when something simple happens. And children do know how to test parents.
When you struggle because of lack of sleep, the best thing you can do is to ask for help. A simple nap squeezed in from time to time can do wonders for you to remain calm.
Some great related tips that will help you are:
- Never schedule a playdate if the child or you are tired or there is a busy day right ahead.
- Schedule alone time so that you can unwind. Hire sitters or talk to family members to help.
- When you know tomorrow will be busy, go to bed earlier.
- Get your sleeping patterns on track, start, and stick to a bedtime routine.
Changing Your Attitude Is A Must
It is very important to change how you approach some actions if you want to maintain your calmness as a parent. Remember that what your child is doing is not necessarily a reflection of the parent’s skills. Every single child is going to test your sanity by arguing and screaming. When they grow, development skills also grow. This is where your guidance is needed.
What you should remember is that we are not talking about something that happens to you. We are actually talking about how you react. You need to stay consistent and calm. It is your choice how you are going to respond. Sometimes, a pause is all that you need in order to let emotions abate and allow you to become sensible to what is happening.
Take Some Time To Breathe
Breathing in and out and taking a little break when you feel anger can do wonders to help you manage really tricky situations with your children. Dealing with any issue as you are calm is just much better.
When you are angry, it is very easy to make mistakes and say bad things in the heat of the moment. As a result, whenever you feel your anger piling up, take a little break to breathe.
Establish House Rules
This is where things can get a little tricky. You need to establish rules and the rules you choose have to be understood by the child. Obviously, you want to be sure the house si completely child-safe so that injury risks are lowered.
Some very good examples of rules you could have that are very easy for the child to understand and that are also good for you as a parent are:
- Creating spaces where foods and drinks are always placed.
- Rules related to how to speak with the child and how the child can speak to you.
- Designated areas for playing.
Having such rules in place does not mean you are a strict, uptight parent. Having the rules in place means you can create safe spaces and encourage conversations. You also get to teach responsibility and respect. Never be scared of rules. They will help you to be a much calmer parent.
We have some specific expectations about being calm as a parent but they are most likely not realistic. The child keeps growing and will always further in development. This means expectations are going to change. You can so easily end up being caught up and think the child can control their actions. However, at the end of the day, everything needs to be learned.
Keep in mind that children always learn through seeing and it is your responsibility to lead by example. Having patience means that you can accept things will happen differently than what you initially imagined. This is always the case with children and you have to be aware of it.
Plan As Much As You Can
If you want to be calm as a parent, you definitely need a plan. And you need to be organized in everything that you do. This will let you feel a lot calmer, which means you automatically become more patient as a parent.
Parenting is something you learn in time through trial and error. Kids are always different. They are unique. So you need to be careful when you guide them and when you discipline them. Becoming a calmer parent can definitely make things smooth. At the end of the day, the goal for parents is to accept and help children to develop.
Being clear and organized is a huge part of being calm. And you might even need to start some stress management activities. Meditation can help but being patient with your child is all about understanding that they are growing and they are different. If you listen to your child, it is just so much easier to be calm since you start to understand what the child wants, likes, and needs.