Teenagers are notoriously hard to handle by parents. This is a moment in life in which many of them become rebellious since they try to figure out what they want from life. Even a loving, sweet child can become a stranger, and it happens all of a sudden.
Parents have to deal with rule-breaking, mood swings, and risky behaviors. This can be quite emotional, difficult, and exhausting.
Fortunately, there are many different things you can do to handle the rebellious teenager. Some of the most important things you have to be aware of are presented below.
Always Stay In Control And Keep Calm
Staying calm is by far the most important action you have to take. It is very bad to lose control when the teen is out of control. As the teen sees you yell and lose patience, more boundaries will be tested. In addition, when the goal of the teenager is to get some sort of rise or negative reaction, there is a clear victory due to your poor behavior.
It is often much better to just walk away if you feel you lose control or at least take a long, deep breath. Revisit the problem when your mind is clear. If you react to the moment and the situation, both you and the teen will end up with regrets.
Create Age-Appropriate Rules That Are Fair
At the end of the day, you are a parent. This means you are the adult and you are in charge. The teen will exhibit different things and will try to act like an adult. But, you are the one that has to make really important decisions since you are the more experienced person.
You have to set boundaries. This is beneficial even for the rebellious teenager. The teen has to understand what is right and what is wrong but making decisions on your own is difficult for a young individual.
If necessary, simply write down all rules. This removes all questions and instantly shows what is not acceptable. You might not do this since you think about hurting the feelings of the teenager or you might believe that this will lead to even more risky behavior. In reality, if you have sensible rules in place, the teen will only be upset in the heat of the moment. In the long run, these rules have positive effects.
Don’t Forget About Consequences
There is a very good possibility that many of the rules you create will be broken by the rebellious teenager. This is why consequences are mandatory and you can put them down in writing so that the teen can never say he/she does not know them. Remember that teenagers often accuse parents of making up new rules as time passes or that parents are unfair. Writing down rules and consequences removes much of the drama.
The best thing that you can do is to sit down with the teen and work with him/her on the appropriate consequences. This helps a lot since the teen instantly understands what will happen and will actually agree with the decision.
Consequences need to be enforced when a rule is broken. There is no reason to determine them if you will not use them. And you can be sure that you will need to enforce the consequences at least a few times with rebellious teenagers.
Focus On The Good Behavior
When you raise a child, you need to use positive reinforcement. This is also very efficient during teen years. Remember that the teen wants to feel loved. You can show love through the use of positive reinforcement.
You should always take the time needed to recognize the good behavior and accomplishments of the teenager. It can even be something really small. When you show that you are proud, you instantly offer motivation and the rebellious teen who looks for some negative attention will not really want this anymore. The truth is in most cases the teen wants negative attention since it is the only one possible. Pay attention to your child and point out positives. This can easily make negatives diminish.
You can be a really savvy and dedicated parent and still not be able to manage all emotions the teen experiences. This is particularly the case when referring to substance abuse issues, anger management disorders, anxiety, and depression.
In the event that the teen is suffering from any mental health issue contributing to the rebellious nature, a professional might be needed. This is also true when the teenager has a broken leg or suffers from diabetes. It is impossible for the parent to help so the medical professional is necessary. Why not do the same with mental health issues.
Remember that counselling is a very safe place. The teen can talk about anything without a fear of repercussions. Even if you were always kind and you never did anything bad, the teen might still not want to talk about some things with you. The counselor might offer that little extra discussion that is so often necessary. Just make sure you go to one that is specialized in dealing with teenagers.
You Might Also Need Counseling
The last thing we should understand is that self-care is vital for you and your relationship with the teenager. You can so easy end up blaming yourself for the rebellion of the teenager. You can also end up making so many excuses in the process. When you have someone from the outside who will help you see the real problems, it is much easier to become a much better parent.
At the very least, the counselor is capable of helping you to learn new ways to properly communicate with the teenager. This in itself will help you to feel better about yourself. You simply cannot have a good relationship with the teenager if you feel bad about yourself.
You will be faced with an uphill battle. However, if you are patient and you focus on making the best possible choices, eventually this period will pass. The adolescent years are just a minor part of the entire life of a person. You can work with any teenager, help, and build a strong relationship if you put in the work to do so.