Even relationships that seem to be perfect might be incredibly toxic and you might not even be aware of the fact that you are in a toxic relationship. When you stay in that toxic relationship, you constantly destroy yourself and huge problems appear.
It can be very difficult to leave a toxic relationship. Even so, when you are aware of the signs you are in one, it can become easier to make the bold decision of walking away. This is because most people in a toxic relationship do not even know they are in one.
Remember that toxic behavior can be different from one person to another. We are talking about a spectrum, not some clear patterns. Things that can be considered as being toxic appear in practically all relationships. However, in order to determine if they are highly negative, we need to look at damage, intensity, and consistency.
With all this in mind, here are some signs that should be clear warnings you are in a toxic relationship.
Being In The Relationship Feels Bad
And this feeling does not go away.
Whenever you find yourself constantly going to bed sad and waking up hollow, there is a really good possibility something is wrong. And the bad part is that people actually get used to this feeling. In so many cases, they end up thinking it is normal. The truth is that it is not normal. The sooner you deal with the feeling of being hollow, the easier it is to remove it.
You Constantly Expect Criticism
In many toxic relationships, you end up expecting to be criticized. It often does not matter what you do as it is a certainty you will be scolded. Simple questions become traps, just like statements. You feel that you are hunted at all times and you feel that you do everything wrong.
Whenever you are caught with something “wrong”, even if it is minor like being late 1 minute, zero forgiveness appears. Such a toxic environment can only lead to huge problems.
Remember that every single person in the world makes mistakes. When your mistakes are used as being proof that you are stupid, wrong, uninvested, or anything else truly negative, you are most likely in a toxic relationship.
You Feel There Is No Reason To Say What You Need
Every person needs something in a relationship. Some of the very important needs that are often seen include validation, sex, affection, love, appreciation, and connection. When you find that such needs are ignored or mocked, you end up feeling empty inside. When you try to talk about the things you need, a fight happens. Alternatively, you might be faced with being accused of being mad, jealous, insecure, or needy. Even empty promises can appear.
The fact is you have needs. And those needs have to be met. If this does not happen and there is no willingness from the partner to give you what you need, there is a big problem there. And if you are mocked or made to feel even worse if you express a need, the relationship is surely toxic.
You Are The Only One Working On The Relationship
You cannot call yourself a dancer when you simply move on a dance floor. In a similar way, the fact that you are physically present does not mean you are in a relationship. While it is true that it is healthy to do some separate things, the key here is the word some. In a relationship, you have to do things together.
If you often find that you are the only one that works on the relationship, there is surely a problem. Both you and your partner need to be involved. While involvement levels can vary, when only you are interested in making things work and solving problems, you might be faced with a toxic environment.
Remember that it is impossible to hold the entire relationship alone. This only becomes exhausting and lonely. Unfortunately, so many end up believing a fantasy in which they can do things a lot better when they work hard enough. In reality, if it is just you working on the relationship, nothing will be solved.
You Cannot Say “No”
In every single relationship, the word NO is very important. It should always exist. In a healthy relationship, you need compromise, respect, and a whole lot more. If you feel that you cannot communicate what you want or what you do not want, you are looking at a serious problem. You need to be able to say no or the relationship can easily move towards abuse.
The loving partner always respects you and understands the fact that you do not have to agree with everything. When the only situation in which you are accepted in the relationship is when you say yes, it is time to move to another relationship or stay alone from some time.
Verbal Or Physical Abuse
These are the clear signs that you are in a toxic relationship that basically everyone knows. When it comes to physical abuse, it can be easier to spot than with verbal abuse. Also, we should highlight that there is such a thing as psychological abuse. In this case, people rarely notice that they have a problem.
Whenever abuse appears in a relationship, you need to seriously consider walking away. Love does not go hand in hand with abuse, regardless of what others might want you to think.
Relationships should be built on trust and if all that you hear is a series of lies, the relationship is or will quickly become toxic. While it is true that everyone lies, cheating and lying in a relationship can only lead to lost trust. After trust is lost, it is very hard (sometimes impossible) to get it back.
Relationships that do not have trust can easily turn healthy, strong people into individuals that are jealous, suspicious, and insecure. These are all very toxic and have their roots in lost confidence. You need to know when enough is just enough. When trust is broken, you have to decide if you give your partner another shot or not. And it the partner does not work hard to get the trust back, it is better to just walk away.